The truth is finding one’s mate is really hard. Their is a phrase that is usually utilized when discussing this topic:
That matchmaking is as hard as the splitting of the red sea.
Below you will find a compilation of ideas and links.
This following two site comes highly recommended.It has a list of matchmakers and it categorizes their users into hashkafa levels.
******************When one lists their name on a database
It is your responsibility to maintain contact
with those that respond and checking is solely your responsibility.
It is important that you look at who the person is today and not what they could become (potential). People can tell you that s/he has a terrible middah (Characteristic) of being angry and blowing up. That S/He is filled with anger when ever a specific discussion is brought up …about such and such. He throws things etc…WATCH OUT! This person may gradually change but you should listen to what you see in front of you.
(These were some pointers given by people currently in the dating field) * additional pointers will be added or modified based on our viewer participation
- Has to be committed to a certain level of observance (one that your satisfied with and looking to grow)
- Should have a desire to always learn how to effectively communicate various issues in a positive way
- They should look for the positive in people
- Smile when they great people
- Give charity
- Help people (at work, home, roommates, visit the sick, cook for a family etc…)
- They should be looking for positive things to occupy their hobbies with!
- The key is growth! They should want to always be growing through classes, books, friends, family, teachers, (scholars), Rabbi’s, Rebetzins, etc…
Keep an Open Mind
Many people say that they should only date in a certain circle. On the contrary you should look at the person and not if they were raised religious or came from a different religious level. These people chose a lifestyle after much searching.
- For example: many great guys and girls who may have not been born religious have superb middos (characteristics). That is and should be an important asset into choosing whom to date or be set up with. One should always ask questions: How long they have been religious and who their Rabbi/ Rebettzin and learning partner may be…..
- One has to feel comfortable with the responses they receive as well.
- The complete list of shidduchim sites on the web and contacts